We travel down most of our life with a broken compass; not sure of what turns we are taking, which pit-stops are actually destinations, and sometimes, what is north or south.
After time passes us by, we look back at the map we left of our footprints, our loves and losses, and we can clearly see the directions we have walked in, and even which forks led us to where we currently reside.
There are those few rare moments, though, when time bends and flows around you; two separate lifetimes raging on either side of a single decision. You resist moving to extend this single moment, knowing that you must abandon the sights and sounds of one trail absolutely, to experience whatever awaits down your chosen path. And so you hold on. Tight. Maybe you try not to breath.
Until you can't out-wait time any longer, and the weight of what you already know you will do carries you into the current of your future, leaving you only a memory of what might have danced and sang and touched you along your untraveled life.
Welcome!
This is my attempt to introduce my poetry to new readers and to continue helping my words grow day-by-day. I would love for this to be a workshop- a place of helping and sharing- so if you have suggestions for changes or if you have thoughts on a similar subject, your opinions are valued. Please comment! Please share!
Every single poem is a never-ending work in progress <3
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
My Favorite Chef
I was joyful when
He walked in—weeks after he disappeared
looking older than I remembered,
pasty,
swollen,
yet smiling like usual
then he shrugged off help
Declaring he came back for pay day,
"Need some cash," followed by
a flippant gesture,
a rough laugh,
and a sticking out tongue,
I couldn’t help but find an empty room
to cry.
Good ole John
loving and talented
kind and funny,
and dealing with
"personal problems"
I know addiction when I see it.
"He’s fine"—
"He’s a big boy"—
"He’s made it this far…"—
"Its just a binge"—
Sure,
But I know some big boy binges don’t end til the grave
So I give him a hug before he walks out the door again.
luck,
lots of love
and wishes,
that's all I could give good ole John.
(written August 16, 2011)
He walked in—weeks after he disappeared
looking older than I remembered,
pasty,
swollen,
yet smiling like usual
then he shrugged off help
Declaring he came back for pay day,
"Need some cash," followed by
a flippant gesture,
a rough laugh,
and a sticking out tongue,
I couldn’t help but find an empty room
to cry.
Good ole John
loving and talented
kind and funny,
and dealing with
"personal problems"
I know addiction when I see it.
"He’s fine"—
"He’s a big boy"—
"He’s made it this far…"—
"Its just a binge"—
Sure,
But I know some big boy binges don’t end til the grave
So I give him a hug before he walks out the door again.
luck,
lots of love
and wishes,
that's all I could give good ole John.
(written August 16, 2011)
Treadmill
The thumping of my feet in my 5-finger shoes
would’ve embarrassed me if I didn’t have Brand New
drowning out the gym, my feet, the patrons
All but my thoughts it muffled
Those padded along with my feet
This general frustration with life
I can’t seem to shake
I don’t handle the time between change well
I realized while breathing harder
I fight it
but I can’t win
unless I learn patience,
It hasn’t gone well for me in the past,
Breathing hard, heart beating fast, too fast?
Maybe
I surpass the two stopping points I had decided on
in my head
but I’m still not satisfied, not proud of my results
I want my legs to burn hotter
my lungs to strain more, that 170 bpm heart to push harder
Burst?
Maybe
I want more sweat dripping off
my hair, down my forehead
I want to work off this mental discomfort
I haven’t been able to shake with writing, working, thinking
But I stop at 1 point something miles anyway.
It feels good to feel drained
and hot while I stretch my
nose to my knee
But not good enough.
Nothing has felt good enough in awhile now
And I don’t really know why
Or where I went. In between change.
(written August 6, 2011)
would’ve embarrassed me if I didn’t have Brand New
drowning out the gym, my feet, the patrons
All but my thoughts it muffled
Those padded along with my feet
This general frustration with life
I can’t seem to shake
I don’t handle the time between change well
I realized while breathing harder
I fight it
but I can’t win
unless I learn patience,
It hasn’t gone well for me in the past,
Breathing hard, heart beating fast, too fast?
Maybe
I surpass the two stopping points I had decided on
in my head
but I’m still not satisfied, not proud of my results
I want my legs to burn hotter
my lungs to strain more, that 170 bpm heart to push harder
Burst?
Maybe
I want more sweat dripping off
my hair, down my forehead
I want to work off this mental discomfort
I haven’t been able to shake with writing, working, thinking
But I stop at 1 point something miles anyway.
It feels good to feel drained
and hot while I stretch my
nose to my knee
But not good enough.
Nothing has felt good enough in awhile now
And I don’t really know why
Or where I went. In between change.
(written August 6, 2011)
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