Empty House

Every black line between wood 
is a familiar memory,
I always thought I'd like this house
but I never did,
I loved you, though, so that was enough.
Now its just me and the house
beating up on each others' insides.
And you don't even know how it feels,
To be two thirds of a whole,
without your favorite piece. 
When I leave I won't have the missing third anymore--
But I'll be half again.
This box of darkness never felt like home,
but you did,
And I'm guessing you won't come here either.


(written November 18, 2010)

Wild Play School Day

I have the strongest eyes in the world
I have green tides and pink waves
I have gemstones and silver shoes
                                silver pupils
                                silver toes
                                silver veins
The diamonds that float through my silver veins.
I hope I can swim
I hope I can drown
I hope my diamonds glimmer brightly.
I want a rainfall
I want a waterfall of green and gold
Some call me the lady of luckless love
You are the difference between real and mystical
What an interesting creature!


(written on November 12, 2009)

Pondering Again

Is this what happens when nature and nurture collide?
When pack mentality fights commitment-phobia,
and a search for individuality finds itself in a room
with a future image of a husband and career?
Do we all struggle through this battle?
Does everybody think before they leap?
And if they don't, who is better off?


(written October 25, 2009)

Sitting on Campus Thinking and Writing

Alone.
What I want to be
but only today
Only sometimes
not forever
because who wants to be alone?

Humans go to extreme measures
to not be alone.
Sometimes alone is better for us than together.

Have you ever watched somebody trade loneliness
for unhappiness?
for some reason
they feel better
they think they are better
But everybody can see they aren't
Or are they?

We fear loneliness
maybe more than
pain
Because it sticks
it feels like it could linger forever
that if we don't
shake it off
We'll be stuck
unhappy.

We are pack creatures,
But why?
the people I surround myself with
make me--
we are all recipes
of different parts of our friends
our families
our enemies
And isn't that a terrifying
thought?
Even the most solitary individual is defined
by what,
who,
he doesn't want to be
which is just the same,
Do people realize this?

I guess its a simple topic
but it seems so unexplorable
undiscoverable
over my head
one of those many thoughts
I feel around
and get discouraged by the depth of.

(written October 25, 2009)

Punch Line

Life has a way of tripping us up
and making us laugh
at the stupidity that is
ourselves
and our patterns
our beliefs even
and maybe our rules,
This happens everyday to everybody
and its the people that don't laugh,
that don't realize
their struggle is everybody's
that humans exist on an ever circling spiral
of repetition ,
We all feel the same
We all embark across the same themes,
it is those people that age into frowns
and tears
and self destruction
alienation
pity
and doubt
because those of us that realize we are just a punch line
we know how to push pain away,
We know how to love,
And why not?


(written 10/25/09)