Welcome!

This is my attempt to introduce my poetry to new readers and to continue helping my words grow day-by-day. I would love for this to be a workshop- a place of helping and sharing- so if you have suggestions for changes or if you have thoughts on a similar subject, your opinions are valued. Please comment! Please share!
Every single poem is a never-ending work in progress <3

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

IRR


IRR

A man sits on a bench
quiet and somber,
in a horde of hugs and withheld tears
he is wrinkled
and alone.

Women adjust their faces,
pulling up their frowns
like blouse sleeves
readying for holding in fears,
and raising

babies against shoulders
as awkward footed tots
look broken eyed
and lost
while Daddies get their goodbye kisses.

The soldiers mill.
Battles Rage.
and for the first time since boots
and flags fell
on angry sand

I cry.

For those already carrying bills we, the indebted, 
can not
and will not pay,
who wish to rip velcro names off worn uniforms
heavy helmets off shaved heads
our tanks off deserts,

I cry
for those who are too loyal
too courageous
for their own preservation,
            And for us.

and I send out a message: 
                                          This war is terror
                                             on beliefs,
                                                 citizens,
                                                    Love,

With hope it won't take losing
my lover,
and your young men
in arms,
to realize This.

*Original draft written Dec. 2, 2009. This draft was combined from two other drafts just tonight. This poem has been one of the hardest to get exactly how I want it, and although controversial, it is also a favorite of mine. Please help me workshop this piece*

3 comments:

  1. Very good with complex stanza's

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  2. Off the bat, should Daddy's be a singular Daddy possessing well deserved good-bye tea
    rs? Or are they plural daddies getting good-bye tears?


    I like the Emily Dickinson capitalization on important words.
    Good message.

    Love the personification of sand. Part of me wishes I could see that again. It is new and interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you Jenn :)

    Multiple Daddies, I think... let me look at it more and try to see what I was getting at...
    Thank you Thank you-
    see the show again? If so, me too. It was very touching.
    Thanks for commenting Theresa :)

    ReplyDelete